Junctions

Just to let you know, with a week before I move into Moody, I have become a little anal retentive because of the financial situation. While I was fasting for my journey ahead, an issue came up today about my class schedule. Because I didn't pay any money towards tuition fees by August 1st, I was dropped from all my classes. I enrolled for those classes last month and I thought I was set, for now.


With a situation like this coming up as far as finances for classes, getting a letter from a Methodist seminary, and fasting to petition for God to reveal to me His Will for me as far as the next step in my journey. I was beginning to think God was revealing to me to go instead to the Methodist seminary, but I was talking to my mother about the money dilemma and what God was revealing to her spirit about the situation.


She said that her spirit was saying that I knew where I am suppose to go in my heart, but I wasn't sure about it was good enough. She went on to say that she knows that she needs God especially when she comes to a road and doesn't know where to go from left to right. She mentioned that to show how we need God so much just to tell us to go left or right. That sparked a thought that came to mind of when I went to my Shane and Rachel Layne's wedding.


That night (8/3), I drove from Lima to Cleveland, a journey I never made. The directions I printed out from MapQuest told me to take two turns to get on route 30 east take it to I-71 N. I knew once I got to 71, then I would be good and get home, but it was getting to 71.


As I drove on what felt like forever on route 30, I approached a junction with route 30 east merging with route 67. The directions said nothing about a merger with this route and the 30 east was only merging with 67 S. Now here's my dilemma, I know in order to go home I needed to go north, but since the direction only said 30 east, which means I should stay south, but it sounded stupid to go south instead of north.


I decided to go 67 S (with 30 E), but then I decided well I know I have to go north, so I will go with north, so with a very little time to spare, I switched lanes to the left to go north. Then I thought, well I have to stick to the directions though it looks like it is taking me a direction that seems to make no sense and be counterproductive.


So with very little time to spare and at the very last second, I merge back to go south. After being on 30 east-67 south for a long time wondering if I made the right decision (as a management degree graduate, I have challenged myself to make great decisions and stick with it, like point guards and quarterbacks, especially when I start a business), I decided that the decision I made the wrong decision and that I was a complete moron to drive south when home is north.


After getting to a half-tank of gas, I knew that I should probably stop for gas at the next exit because I had no idea where I was going and it would be best for me to get gas now because I don't know when I will get the next chance. I got gas, then I called my father to see if I could use the GPS on my cell phone. He said 'yeah', but asked me if I was lost, and I said 'kinda'.



At the gas station, I asked a lady working how to get to I-71 and she said to take 67-S to the next exit to 30 east and it will take me to 71. Great! Good thing I stopped because I might not have known to get off. So I do what she says, and yet I find myself driving forever. And then I found myself approaching Mansfield, which I know is too far south, knowing I would be going near MVNU.


So I decided to call Christina to see if her GPS hand-held computer thing could help me find myself (I realize that GPS go by the position of the GPS, but there was hope that it could pull up a map of where I was). The GPS on my phone said that I didn't have enough resources (maybe battery power) to run it, so I couldn't pull it up. When I call her, she is outside of her house and gets on the computer to help me find where I was.


She asks for the nearest rod on the next exit and the city I thought I was in (Mansfield). She then tells me that 71 is actually coming up and that I should see an exit on the right that said something and when I looked up and saw that street. A couple seconds later, I see 71 down about 2 miles away (with my keen, falcon-like eyesight). Right then I knew I was going to be ok and that i would finally get home, and I did a little after midnight (I left at 8:45, and the directions said about 3 hours, so with the stop for gas, I actually made it in perfect timing).


After I got home, I realized that I went the right way because I had to south in order to hit 71. I forgot I was suppose to do that from the view of the state map.


All through the ride when I made that junction decision, I was praying to God to take me home in good time. When I made it to 71, I thanked God so much for getting me that far. My father called me 3 times, and my mother told me today when that happened that he said he couldn't go to sleep because I was kinda lost. I called him once I got to 71, to let him know I was fine, and I thanked God for a father who loved me, and even though I never really felt that love growing up, I felt it more than ever. It was a humbling experience to doubt a decision I made and to be wrong when I realized that I was initially right in that decision. God led me home!!!


And how it relates to today. Well it finally revealed to me that I am suppose to go to Moody. I have been back and forth about wondering if God's Will was for me to go to Moody like my decision at the junctions. The doubt of going to Moody came with financial obstacles coming up and UMC clergy trying to force Methodist seminaries on me, it was hard to hear God's voice over the noise pollution in my head. Me going south and thinking it made no sense was like me going to a seminary that was not the seminary of my denomination (though I don't want to go that route).


I was afraid I was trying to do my will over God's Will. So I made the decision to go south (west to Moody) and I have denounce that decision, but now I know that no matter how long this route is and how dark my path was, and how dumb it seemed to be, I am starting to see 71 and knowing that God led me to the right route, and it was the right route that will lead me home.


Shalom <\T/>

Summer Sermons

Today was my sermon at the church I am interning at, and it was by far my best sermon. It was sermon 7 or 8, but it was a great improvement from the 2 previous ones of this summer.

The first sermon of the summer was on Father's Day at my home church and it was about how fathers are very important and vital in the life of children. It was good information, but the delivery was dry and I forced the landing (ending). I was feeling really good and wanted to get up there and preach really well, but unfortunately for me UMC services last forever before a sermon and there are no long sessions of Praise & Worship, like my best friend's church. So after awhile in the service, I lost all motivation to speak. It didn't help that the music was very dry and dead.

The second sermon was at a church 2 weeks ago that doesn't have a pastor. I knew that without a pastor, I had to bring my A game. Unfortunately for me, I forced it to much and it didn't come out well. The message was really good; it was about the importance of community and it had so much good knowledge in it to show why communities are so good. My landing wasn't good and I forced that too much and went on too long. The music was barely visible.

The third sermon from today, was truly the best sermon I have had. My energy was good, material was great, delivery was on point. The first summer sermon was a 5-point sermon, second was a 3-point sermon, and this one I guess was just 1-point. I compared the Call of Moses in Exodus 3 & 4 to God leading me to go to Moody. I recreated the dialogue between God and Moses; putting my own twist to it. I started with a poem I wrote (it was the previous poem). I ended the sermon with my own story of my journey to Moody. The landing was better than the first two, but not that great. That one was by far my best and the music was really good. My former choir director is at this church and had really great music that really kept me in the spirit.

The night before this sermon, I really prayed hard and for the first I cried and was balling my eyes praying about Moody, praying about my sermon, and praying about all my life issues that I was going through, and I felt so much comfort in God that I broke down because I knew what I was going through was not going to last like all the other problems I've ever faced. God brought me through this and as I look to the next journey, a reassuring voice told me to be patient with the Holy Spirit. And with God working on His Time not ours and with less than 2 weeks left, it's time for me to really have faith that it will will be ok and God will handle that.

shalom <\T/>

Untitled #5 (Chi-Town Bound)

Where I am going? What am I suppose to do?
So many paths lie before me, which one leads me to You?
So many times I’ve been down this road of depression
You’d think after the first time I would’ve learned my lesson
So instead I sit here guessing
It’s for that very same reason that I have so many questions
Like who am I suppose to be? And where am I being led?
And which one of these roads will have me end up dead?
Yet a still small voice I hear reassures me safety
But in the midst of that, I still say ‘maybe’
Is it this road? How can I be so sure?
What new trials will I face? What new burdens most I endure?
Can I master these uncharted waters without a tour?
It’s this one? Are You sure?
Is it really the path less traveled and roamed?
Is it really the one that will take me away from everything I’ve ever known?
How can I be so sure this path leads me to You?
Rid me of my own intuition, so I can rely on You